Redemption
been eating pebbles and
fossilized vertebrae
today i went back to leaves.
been lining my eyes with red clay and
paste mixed from the dried blood
i scraped off that dress i wore
some months ago
and the ocean water
i collected a few years back
in the old brown laudanum bottle
that i've kept from two lifetimes ago
today i went back to kohl.
~
i crouched on top of the wall then
and watched
for a time i could come down
for a time i could find home
for a time when the fires
finished feeding
and went to bed
beneath the blackened city
for a time i could go to the river
and wash the ashes from my skin
and push the many heads of sorrow
under
-name them! name all of them. do it.
-No.
to rest with all of the other bones
to be worn down in microscopic increments
to be silt
to be without moors
to be taken
and given over
forgotten and changed
to the ocean
i crouched on the wall all day
watching panic and desperation and burning
but pivoted and turned my back to the city
when the smoke obscured sun was gone
i kissed the nightfall coming from the east
embraced my long legs
with my long arms
still and balanced
heels to stone
breasts to thighs
chin to knees
eyes wide to my temples
with black kohl and
focused patience
looking out over the water
to the twilight
watching for my wings
they were flying to me now
born by the body of my kindred.